Age-defying Venus of Willendorf dons star-spangled bikini

Although evasive as ever about her actual age, Venus of Willendorf apparently doesn't mind baring all when it comes to enjoying a day at the beach.

As demonstrated in the photo below, the voluptuous 20,000-something fertility goddess was recently sighted sporting a teeny weeny patriotic bikini which left nothing to the imagination.

The immodest two-piece stars-and-stripes ensemble was in fact fashioned exclusively for the world-renowned sex-symbol by Americonic Art, and, as expected, the prehistoric beauty did it justice.

So eat your heart out, Sports Illustrated.

Asked if the scantily-clad icon of art history had any qualms about exposing her full figure in a public area where hundreds of Barbie wannabes and the muscle-bound typically hang out, Venus of Willendorf just shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"I'm one of kind," she bragged, sending up a cloud of sand and a mini tidal wave as she darted past the gaping throngs and into the salty ocean. "They broke the mold when they made me," she unabashedly added.

Burst, the lady probably means -- have a great day at the beach, everybody!  

Comet ISON of Oort

Americonic Art is hoping the appearance of Comet ISON -- formerly of the Oort Cloud district of the universe -- will not only make a spectacular appearance over Earth this autumn, but maybe shed some particles in the process.

That kind of stuff would go well in the White Trash Collection, since space junk, debris and stardust are the only materials that haven't been incorporated in this vast and varied body of work.

Comet ISON, so named for the Russian-based astronomers who discovered it in 2012 (the International Scientific Optic Network), is an icy mass from distant Oort scheduled to hurtle by our planet sometime in the fall of 2013, observers say.

The event could produce the light show of the century, experts are already speculating, or it might just as easily turn out to be a complete dud.

Bedazzling or not, something's bound to drop from the celestial object -- 200+ kilograms of matter every day -- as it continues on its haphazard trek across the galaxy,,,

And it'll be finders keepers if any of it lands on or near the studio of Americonic Art in upstate New York.

Does Confirmed Apollo 11 Space Junk Really Belong to Jeff Bezos?

Confirmed Apollo 11 engines recovered in the Atlantic ocean last year by Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos means that these prized pieces of space junk will never be a part of Americonic Art's expansive White Trash Collection.

That's all right though, because there's plenty more debris like that stuff currently circling the planet or sitting at the bottom of the seven seas somewhere, not to mention a countless number of meteorites and moon rocks.

However, considering it was the U.S. taxpayers who funded the pricey Apollo missions in the 1960s and 70s, is the confirmed Apollo flotsam really Jeff Bezos to own, irrespective of the mega-millions he may have spent to recover those items?

And, if so, can we all expect to see them soon listed on his website for sale? Say in the automotive or rocket ship departments?

Or will he just list them for bidding on eBay?

92 quadrillion and the Rolling Stone cover on Etsy

Can you make 92 quadrillion AND the Rolling Stone cover by opening a shop on Etsy?

Well, probably not, but it's worth a try, some veteran sellers there do claim, so Americonic Art has done just that this week. 

Etsy's wisemen also urge newbies to apply succinct SEO tags and descriptions to all our artwork, crafts, and merchandise.

But, speaking as a traditionalist, it was challenging to part with clever titles in lieu of the more bland, longwinded -- and sometimes seriously overused -- keywords and phrases that search bots synthetically thrive on. 

(We're falling out of the 'golden triangle' here, the part in an online article where readers begin scanning, and that means to either click 'publish' or else upload an image as a bridge.)

 < uploaded image

Anyway: New Etsy store owner here, with never before seen artistic creations, some affordable, some high end.

Not expecting the Rolling Stone cover, of course, and nowhere near 92 quadrillion either, but, as it's an ongoing project, it'll be nice to get out of the studio now and then.

What's your opinion?